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Rob Cesternino and Akiva Wienerkur continue their journey to watch every Seinfeld episode as they discuss Season 8, Episode 9, “The Abstinence”.
Seinfeld Post Show Recaps: The Abstinence
Rob Cesternino and Akiva Wienerkur won’t turn into goblins as they bring you this week’s Seinfeld Post Show Recap. This time, they discussed “The Abstinence”, which first aired November 21, 1996 as part of season eight. The episode was written by Steven Koren, marking his first episode writing for the show.
Jerry’s Storyline – Jerry has a career day gig at his old school, but someone from the Bronx Zoo has exotic animals, so they bumped Jerry. When his agent Katie hears of this, she concerned, and decides she’s going to fix it. She gets the school to agree to a two hour assembly, having them bump singer Rick James. He decides to let George spend some of his stage time with his newfound knowledge, but when George shows after having sex and all out of intelligence, Jerry is forced to go out and bomb in front of the kids. Grade: Akiva – B, Rob – B+
George’s Storyline – George’s new girlfriend Louise has developed mono, so they can’t be intimate for a few weeks. At first he laments this, but soon notices that he’s thinking a lot clearer, even getting smarter since his brain realized sex was not an option. He uses this newfound brainpower to read, study, and even give tips to the Yankees on the physics of baseball. When his ability to speak Portuguese to a waitress at the diner in her language leads to him having a rendezvous with her, all the knowledge he gained in his abstinence went right out the window, leaving Jerry to fill the two hour time slot his agent booked for him at their old school. Grade: Akiva – A, Rob – A
Elaine’s Storyline – Elaine is dating a new man who’s studying to become a doctor, though struggling to pass the test. When she notices how smart George is getting from his abstinence, she decides to withhold sex from Ben, hoping it will help him finally become a doctor. The plan backfires though, as Elaine starts to become dumber from her abstinence. Her bad luck further compounds when Ben finally becomes a doctor, then immediately dumps her, knowing he can do better than her since passing the test. Grade: Akiva – A, Rob – A-
Kramer’s storyline – Kramer faces the problem of being kicked out of every place he goes because they ban smoking. When he is out shivering with the other outcasts smoking, he decides that he is going to turn his apartment into a smoking lounge. The lounge is a success, as the revolving crowd stays pretty steady, but soon Kramer starts showing the effects of the extreme exposure to smoke. Since the tobacco companies don’t have any warnings about the cosmetics of smoking, he enlists Jackie Child’s help. The lawsuit is on, but soon Kramer ruins it again for Jackie, as he agrees to settle with the tobacco company by them making him the Marlboro Man. Grade: Akiva – A-, Rob – B+
Episode Ranking – 23
Emails – Johnny De Silveira asked if either of them have remembered where they put something 25 years after losing it. Matt wondered why Jerry didn’t fire his agent after the events of “The Diplomat Club”. Caleb wondered if Rob had any cool Letterman stories. Lindsay asked if either of them had any great career day guests throughout school. Craig lauded the show for getting the newly minted world series champions in Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams.
April, a new emailer asked if either of them have been bumped in favor of someone else. Mike commented how he likes to listen to the podcast in half speed, rather than double speed. Dan the benefactor pointed out that George isn’t far off in his claim to be a part of the Yankees’ success. Amir wondered why baseball wasn’t full of geniuses, given George’s success from using physics. He also asked why Elaine wouldn’t take care of her situation by becoming master of her domain. Lastly, Keev wanted to remind Jen Chester about Ben’s line about the dream of becoming a doctor.
Tune in next week as the guys will recap “The Andrea Doria”. Send in your questions by emailing [email protected]. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast by going to postshowrecaps.com/