Rob Cesternino and Akiva Wienerkur continue their journey to watch every Seinfeld episode as they discuss Season 6, Episode 9, “The Secretary.”
Seinfeld Post Show Recap: The Secretary
Rob Cesternino and Akiva Wienerkur got out their skinny mirrors for this week’s recap of their run through theSeinfeld series. This time they discuss “The Secretary” which first aired December 8, 1994 as part of season six. The episode was written by Carol Leifer and Marjorie Gross.
News – Rob was interested in trying to determine when the peak of Seinfeld‘s greatness happened, to which Akiva noted it won’t come for some time. Akiva got an email celebrating their tangents and their disapproving wives, adding that he’s received many similar emails. Lastly, Topher Grace has put together a whole Seinfeldepisode from the Seinfeld related clips in Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Jerry’s story – Jerry brings his clothes to another new dry cleaner. While at the movies a few days later, he thinks he sees the dry cleaner Willie wearing his jacket he dropped off. He confirms it later when there is a ticket stub in the jacket pocket. When he confronts Willie and asks for his mother’s fur coat back, Willie stalls him by making Jerry show him the ticket, but he gave it to Kramer so he could write down Uma Thurman’s number. While back at Barney’s getting the ticket, he sees Willie’s wife wearing his mom’s fur, so he follows her into the dressing room, taking it from her.
George’s story – George is looking to hire a secretary, but is emphatic that she must not be too attractive. As he interviews the candidates, he dismisses several beautiful women, plainly telling them they are too attractive to work for him. He ends up choosing Ada, a staunch and efficient looking woman. Despite not hiring for looks, he finds Ada’s efficiency so attractive, he sleeps with her in his office, shouting out that he is giving her a raise in the throws. Ada gets the raise from Steinbrenner that actually pays her more than George.
Elaine’s story – Elaine is unhappy with a dress she buys at Barney’s, thinking the store might be using skinny mirrors in their dressing room. She heads back to exchange the dress, but when there, she doesn’t trust the mirrors in the store, so she wears the new one outside for an unbiased look. Doing so left salt stains on the bottom of the dress, so she is stuck buying the new one that makes her look too “hippy”.
Kramer’s story - Kramer merely wants to buy some new moisturizer at Barney’s, but his story develops when he gets Uma Thurman’s number, and subsequently sells the suit he’s wearing to Bania when he runs into him at the store. His day goes awry when he realizes he needs clothes to wear home, plus he needs to get Uma’s number that’s on Jerry’s dry cleaning ticket in the suit jacket. Bania gives the suit back after Kramer’s “nancy-boy” moisturizer leaked all over the suit, in turn ruining the ticket with Uma’s number.
Rob and Akiva tangents – The guys found it interesting that Jerry has gone through so many dry cleaners in the six seasons. They discussed how George would immediately be fired for sexual misconduct by telling women they aren’t getting hired because of their looks. Akiva noted how Seinfeld paints a negative picture of the small business owner, since they are often depicted ripping Jerry off. They debated what Ada’s salary was when she started, considering she then made more than George after the raise. Also, they tried to determine why Kramer wouldn’t empty his pockets when he sold Bania the suit. Their last tangent was about Uma Thurman and her career during the emails.
What doesn’t work in 2016 – Akiva thought this episode might have the most things that wouldn’t work in 2016. Aside from the obvious lawsuit the Yankees and George would face from him commenting on the ladies’ looks in the interview, they thought that Elaine could post Instagram pictures of the dress for advice, and wouldn’t be allowed outside the store to look at the dress. Lastly, Kramer could just put Uma’s number in his phone.
Grades and Ranking – Akiva was more happy with this episode than Rob, so they disagreed on some of the letter grades and ranking. Akiva thought Jerry deserved a B+, while Rob gave him a C. They both agreed that George knocked it out of the park, giving him an A. For Elaine, Akiva thought she deserved a B-, while Rob thought it was C worthy. Akiva thought Kramer earned an A-, while Rob was feeling it deserved a B. Akiva ranked the episode at 38, while Rob said he’d place it between 80 and 100.
Emails - Dan, the benefactor emailed in to share how he went to visit “George’s Bar” in Melbourne, Australia. He thought it was in a trendy neighborhood and was too hipster for a Seinfeld themed place. Dr. Thomas also wrote in about visiting “George’s”, noting there were a few inside jokes via the menu and the atmosphere. Johnny De Silveira asked why Barney’s wouldn’t have a security system to keep Elaine from walking out of the store. Craig emailed in asking if anyone has fallen off as much as Uma Thurman. Akiva thought she could be victim of an ageist Hollywood.
Amir pointed out how Kramer is notably a think later type of person, so selling the suit with no regard for clothes to get home isn’t out of the question. Finally Chester wondered why George would sleep with his secretary in his office with glass walls. Rob argued that Ada would have a handle on potential people walking by, so they should be safe. He also asked why there isn’t anyone between George and Steinbrenner. The guys agreed, and noted how Morgan wants nothing to do with George.
Tune in next week as the guys will recap “The Race”. Send in your questions by emailing
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Special thanks to Mike Moore for writing this week’s episode summary
Akiva Wienerkur is a former high school English teacher and NBC Sports researcher who now works for a tech start-up. He loves the Jets, the Mets, his wife, his son and 2 daughters- not necessarily in that order.